Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Chp- 07: Breakup It Is!

The breakup, the saddest element in a cute innocent relationship. This element comes in teenage couple only because of ego, not having the maturity, and having an attitude of me, myself and self-respect. After some quarrel and fights in a couple, every teenager comes to his best friend and after telling the stuff lastly utters, "After all! I have my self-respect, I will not say sorry." And lastly, it ends up with a breakup. Only one aspect or a reason is needed for break up. Only a reason is enough for break up, a reason stripped away our love, separates a couple, but even though, it doesn't forget, the memories, special moment they spent every time, talks, and almost an unending love.

Constantly, my phone was ringing and I was staring the screen, not even fluctuating my eyes sight. It was Aisha. This call was her 38th one. She was calling me from last 30 mins. I was not answering her. I was not covering her, my only feeling was I was afraid, and a circle of questions were wondering around my empty head, was "why did she hide from me?".As I trusted Aisha, I was sure that they are friends, but she covered from me, it was very hard to trust her again, I know she will not do the same again, I was sure, but at some point, again I will definitely doubt her and, then the same cycle may repeats. I was afraid, I was afraid of this country, the people living here, everything was dark in front of me, afraid of this fragrance, afraid of this air, afraid of me, and afraid of my love. The only wish was to skip the situation. I was afraid of losing my love. But as in the destiny, it was not written any longer. And finally, my empty mind decided to break up. I was a little bit angry and bloody ego was running in every nerve of my body part, especially a brain. I ignored my attention towards my heart and called Aisha. She was crying and I too was crying feeling her presence.

A long pause and a silence. We both were unprepared to talk.We both were not getting from were to start. And I started first, taking a deep breath and wiping tears.
Listen to Aisha! Let it be, I think we need some break. And frankly,......whuuu!! it will be hard to trust me again, I think we should...end this relationship here itself. A long pause, we both were simply crying and nothing else. Feeling to hug each other and never be distinct.
I am sorry Sankalp! Please don't do that! I won't live without you and you too, she was really sorry this time, but I was not prepared to move the relationship ahead.
I think we must disconnect our contacts, I will never try to contact you ahead. Yes, it will hard, to stay away but we will move on in a couple of months. I love...my tongue started getting heavy, making hand fist and tears were coming constantly. I hanged up the call.

It was too difficult to forget her, we were having daily calls, and discussing and fighting and crying on the same stuff. I was not following the words as said to Aisha, for disconnecting the contact. Every single moment was hard to live and get away from the situation. After some couple of days, she too approved for break up the relationship. I still remember her words of break up. It was really getting hard to get out of the situation. From the time of break up, the pages of my personal diary were filling with a great speed. As I was writing, the pages were getting wet and the mark of tears were clearly visible on the page. The pages were too in tears of going through the sad part of the story.

We won't live without each other, then we decided the strategy of moving on and getting out of the situation. It's hard to break the contact, so we decided to be in contact as per the need. If anyone is in the problem or want to share something, so only contact and share the problem. Past stuff was not allowed if anyone utters the past incidence then the other one will disconnect the call. We both were ready to try this strategy. It didn't work out in starting, but it started helping us after that. I think, we both were started moving on from this stuff. It's getting easier. But the past thing got converted into memories and it grabbed in our blood.

Every time, I think, regret and cries that I lost my love. A year, I was excited to communicate with her, being stupid for her, was in love with her. My love was with me and I lost her as because of bloody fucking reason. Every moment, I am dying inside, that I was not a perfect boyfriend, partner for her. Due to stupid, the silly reason I lost her, She was something else for me, even more than love. Cute silly girl, with having some anger, intelligent, and too beautiful.with her looks, heart and nature, and all time being the late-comer. Changing her get up weekly. A perfect gujju girl, in love with her religion, foodie, loving to travel, and the most auspicious, she is in love with me.

It's too hard in being in a relationship in teenage life. Innocent love, happy relationship, and at the time of fights, being immature, ego and attitude of myself, and self-respect. We don't want to loose our love, but unfortunately we loosen up, and lastly then realize when memories come across wondering around. Here, I lastly say, don't be dependent and live your life on destiny, its all dependent upon you. Love is the most ever precious thing in life, and love displays its value only two times through life, firstly from when it gets started and the secondly, after losing it.