Sunday, November 8, 2015

Scared Love


Feelings can’t be measured in money, neither in scale nor kilometres or in kilograms, but it has a value like a natural world. So natural things can’t be measured in the five fingers or in a million cells in our body, but it has a vast value that always reminds your heart to follow it. Here I realised the difference between a feeling and love. Love. What is it? Just a feeling, but what we can define love as? This is the feeling and it has a tremendous value which can’t be told, said, asked but it has to be expressed. Here I expressed my love through feelings.

I believe in love at first sight, and I had experienced it, but in my previous love story. This is something that destiny (defines Mark Zuckerberg) banged and we started a conversation. It started from the social network. We used to chat 24* 7. We used to share our problems, we used to fight also (cute fight that will indicate our care for each other). Our chat built a huge trust that it was the time to propose her to be my life partner. I don’t remember when I proposed her even she doesn’t know. We assumed that we love immensely and we started our relationship journey to stay together.
After some span of days, we met. We saw both of us for the first time. We both were confused that, from what purpose we will see each other friends, strangers, couple or a committed life partner? She is not a cinderella or the angel holding a magic stick, but she is something for me what my heart liked.


I heard her voice for the first time, it is unique. Our bonding began to run speedy and more tightly. We started behaving as a married couple. Now we happily completed 1 and a half years, but I didn’t felt scared till now rather I used to only jealous for her. But why I am scared now?
Our relationship status is running happily, lovingly and we are an inspiration to other singles that are broken, then why I am scared of our relationship?

It is easy to fell in love, but it is hard to maintain it smoothly. Problems are in every one’s life, but love without a problem has the zero stats. The relation is the only thing which is hard to maintain smoothly, but it is too hard to maintain with our love partner.

Our love story (till now) is running happily, then why I am scared? I don’t know why I am scared but when I am broken I recollect our good times that we both lived it for each other. We used to have a very funny chat where I used to play the role of Badshah and she was my Begum.

We used to fight, cry even realise our mistakes and understand each other. And after that we ping with our huge long romantic message that will surely forget the previous fight and a long bridge of smile gets to be visible again. We celebrate our month anniversary, her every gift to me, her video messages, creative gifts that can impress me. One day, I surprised her to gift our snap frame with rose petals in the bill card, where the cafe’s waiter has brought and he placed it on our table (I didn’t even give him tip) That moment when she made our personal diary with all about our love moment. This we also live now, our love for each other is immature, irrelevant and speechless (sometimes) and impolite (many times).
But why I am scared of our relationship? Why am I scared of losing her?

I know her birthday, our relationship date, our month anniversary, our annual anniversary, our first meet up date, our first ice cream date and our first selfie date too, so she doesn't have the chance to complain about me anyway.

But sometimes back, we stopped our meet every day, we can’t able to talk every minute that we used to talk 24*7 might be by our busy schedule, we even stopped our late night talks and even stopped to send a number of selfies in a day.

We are getting apart physically, but we are not splitting up our two bites of heart and this is what I was scared about. When I used to think, that love is the feeling, now I realised she is my feeling which is spreading love each and every moment like a flow of blood. I am obsessed with love and the feeling feels me more obsessed. And now I am scared to be long of it.